I haven't shared with anyone (because reasons) but I'm knee deep in the process of filing for disability again. My fibromyalgia is getting worse because I'm not able to manage it because I can't afford to because I don't have insurance because I'm not working. I know the ACA (Affordable Care Act) will assist in the management/insurance part but right now I'm not doing very awesome healthwise. I have a gang of new symptoms which are probably related to that almost really bad fall I had about a month ago. Anyway that's not why I came here today.
I've been living at home (it has it's moments, this isn't one of them) for some time now. My mom has been mostly understanding about everything. I happily give all that I have when I have it to help with the running of the house. It's irregular but every penny I can manage to scrape up helps some. Things were going pretty well until my mom quit her last job because she was unhappy and she wasn't making enough to run the house with the little that my grandmother begrudgingly pitches in every month. Finding a new job has been a challenge to say the least. She's kind of in a position where she's either way overqualified and asking for more than the companies are willing to pay or her degrees aren't in specifically what the job is looking for. Good times, no?
We're getting by. We've had to sell some things to pay some bills but we still have a place to live and food and whatnot. Here's the problem. I received notice today that from where I am in the process it may take another 18-20 months before anything substantial happens. The reaction to that was "you're going to be out of work for two more years? No, you're going to have to go get a part time job or something." I explained that would basically put an end to any possibility of being approved. I'm trying to prove to these people that I cannot do any type of work. If I go back to work and I make more than a little over $1,000 a year (roughly $89.00 a month) my claim gets denied. All of this work I've done so far was for nothing and I go back into the work for a year, get dumb sick, quit or get fired because I was dumb sick, take a year off, wash, rinse, repeat. Instead of just going through the disability process. I was fired from my last job because my liver/gallbladder situation was/is doing something it has no business doing. I still don't know what because I was fired and I lost insurance before I could go to 5 million doctors to get a definite answer.
So now I'm stuck. I feel guilty. Do I throw out my claim and my spot in line for disability and go back to work? I know we are in a tough spot now and don't know if the response that I got today was because we are facing a bunch of bills that need to be paid right very soon or if I have truly worn out my "sick time" here at home. Before I continued this process to this point I told everyone that it would be a long process. It was fine when everyone else was working. When and if I got approved my income would be something extra to the running of the house should I chose to stay (I don't think I would, because reasons).
I know right now I'm tired. My liver/gallbladder situation has been hurting for days. All of my joints hurt and my feet will not get warm. I cannot afford another visit to the ER. I'm tired and I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.