Monday, August 19, 2013

On Dating Pt. 526,394

I've started the online dating thing again.  This is totally unrelated to the aforementioned "crush" that I have on someone else. Yesterday was a rainy Sunday of do nothingness so I decided to hang around on the sites that I'm a member and see what happens.  The headline for yesterday would be: "Today I met a communist, a complete (and possible stalker type) asshole and a really sweet, nerdy, cute guy who keeps asking me questions that sound like the worst job interview ever".  Things will be really conversational and then all of a sudden I get hit with "So any other cool stories you want to share?".  The confusion, ya'll.  The confusion.

I've opened and closed accounts roughly 3,000 (who's counting) times and each time I close them it's the LAST time because I really don't think I'm the target demo for dating sites. I'm too cynical and that's not something that at thirty-one I'm willing to change. I know real world dating involves kissing some frogs but at least there is actual kissing. More importantly there is no fear that Nev Schulman is going to chronicle your life on a very special episode of Catfish.  I was seriously so close to shutting down my accounts again and taking my chances elsewhere but elsewhere isn't exactly working either.  So I'm going to keep going forward with my twitchy block hand and hope that I weed out the real weirdos and meet someone amazing.  I'm ready for amazing.  Amazing would be everything right now.

I know if anyone is reading they were probably expecting me to bring up that "crush" (I keep putting that in quotes because I'm thirty-one gotdamn years old and crush sounds like some seventeen year old shit).  I'm not yet. I want to talk to an actual person who isn't my big little sister who has been pressuring me for weeks to just send him a FB message and hope for the best (under the OMG ya'll are supposed to be together clause).  I think if it's supposed to be it'll be.  Don't ask me how.  It'll be.  Because unicorns...and rainbows...and glitter.  Stop judging me.

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